I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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