he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
