I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
