Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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