He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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