i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
