And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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