he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
