I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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