So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
