GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We had sex on a dog bed..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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