I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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