i was born a porn star she said
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
