i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
