how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize