i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
