i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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