Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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