i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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