My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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