For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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