I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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