I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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