Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Acid is not a monday night drug
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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