Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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