wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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