Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
