So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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