if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
