She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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