nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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