I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
