OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize