Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nicole vs. Life
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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