I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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