quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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