Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
as a side note pls kill me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
