if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize