WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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