Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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