Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize