Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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