Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize