Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
high people should be assigned attendants
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
