ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
