Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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