Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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