I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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