No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
