hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
