no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
