Sponge bath it is.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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