apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
