Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
