I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
