theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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