It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
