He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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