Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
