I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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