Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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