i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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