is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
