Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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