i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize